


Who the hell is Steve Rogers?

by CardcaptorGhost



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alive Natasha Romanov, Alive Tony Stark, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, eventual James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardcaptorGhost/pseuds/CardcaptorGhost
Summary: POST-AVENGERS ENDGAMESPOILERS DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIESteve instantly regretted his decision when he saw the look on his best friend’s face. Steve knew he shouldn’t have gone back and lived his life with Peggy. Steve knew that pain Bucky was experiencing was because of him. So, Steve decides he doesn’t want to cause Bucky anymore grief and the best way to fix everything Steve had done to his friends he erases himself from time. Steve Rogers no longer exists or, so he thinks.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve instantly hated his decision the moment he saw Bucky, the pain on his best friend’s face was overwhelming. Steve knew he shouldn’t have gone back and lived his life with Peggy, but he has never felt any feelings so strong towards anyone before well apart from Bucky, but they were living in an era where homosexuality was illegal and well he wasn’t sure whether Bucky liked him like that. Steve wished the second he saw Bucky that he could undo all the suffering he caused Bucky and all his other friends to experience because of Steve. But he couldn’t not without truly messing up the timeline.

“I’m sorry Bucky…” Steve started but trailed off, he had to keep up the old man disguise. Peggy had to believe that even with the Super Soldier Serum he still aged like a normal human being which was the second hardest part for Steve. The issue was… Steve wasn’t like a normal human being. Truth to be told… Steve wasn’t sure what he was. Whether he was a super soldier or something else completely.

“I think you are a little late to apologise Rogers” Bucky snapped back, Steve flinched hard. Yep he had officially fucked everything up again. Sam looked puzzled as he stared at the two super soldiers. He looked like he wanted to intervene but wasn’t completely sure how.

“You’re right. What I did was selfish, you have the right to hate me” Steve replied, he wished that Bucky would turn around and say that he didn’t hate Steve and that he was just mad that Steve had chosen Peggy over him, but Bucky’s expression seemed to harden.

“You are right. You are a selfish bastard. I thought when I finally was free from the conditioning that I would finally be able to get my life back on tracks that you wanted a part in that, but I guess I was wrong. You don’t care about me. It should have been you who died on Vormir not Nat. It should have been you who snapped your fingers with the infinity stones to destroy Thanos’ army not Tony. They are the true victims of what your selfishness because the second you were able to return to Carter you didn’t care about anyone you knew” Bucky snapped. Steve sighed. Bucky was right everything which had happened ever since he decided all those years ago that he wanted to… Steve continued to ruin everything, and he knew that there was only one thing he was truly capable of doing. Correcting his mistakes by not being there to fulfil them.

“You are right Bucky. It is my fault and for once I’m going to rectify my mistakes. I was never fit for this life, I have no idea why I originally thought I was doing” Steve spoke cryptically. Bucky’s cold expression broke leaving only confusion in its wake.

Steve closed his eyes the old man disguise started to slowly peel away leaving the younger version of Steve Rogers. Steve opened his eyes, they were glowing white.

“I return what was taken” Steve said as he lifted his arm pointing to an empty space. Sam, Bucky and Bruce followed Steve’s arm and slowly at least a hundred unconscious bodies appeared, Tony and Natasha amongst them. Sam and Bucky turned to face Steve.

“Steve what the hell, what are you doing?” Sam shouted confused and fear were present in his voice.

“I’m fixing the world. I was never meant to be here. I was just curious of what being human meant but I never took my actions in account to way up the consequences. Goodbye Sam, Bruce… Bucky. In a few seconds Steve Rogers would have never existed” Steve replied before the light consumed Steve’s form and he disappeared.

Bucky turned to look at Sam who rushed over the unconscious forms. People from the house where slowly emerging.

“What happened?” Thor shouted to his fellow comrades.

“I have no idea, they just appeared out of nowhere. There was this light and then they were here. I don’t remember why it happened or how. It just did” Bucky answered.

“They are alive, all of them” Sam spoke up.

“That impossible, they died” Bruce said as he carefully stepped over to Natasha’s unconscious form.

“Loki” Thor shouted running over to his brother and cradling his unconscious form in his arms before scanned to other unconscious individuals. They were his fellow Asgardian which Thanos has killed along with his fallen teammates Tony, Natasha and a human Vision.

Tony started to stir before slowly opening his eyes and sitting up. He looked down at his body then to the people surrounding him.

“Is anyone going to tell me what happened?” Tony asked.

“We wish we knew” Sam answered.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky stumbled into his apartment. The last few days since he was brought back to life has been confusing. The last thing he remembered was the fight against Thanos in 2018. Then suddenly it’s 2023 Thanos was dead and instead they were fighting Thanos from the past. He discovered Natasha had died to get the Soul Stone, Stark had died by using the infinity stones to wipe out Thanos and his army but suddenly Tony and Natasha were alive because of a bright light. Loki and the Asgardians which Thanos had killed were also alive whilst Vision who use to be an android was suddenly alive and human.

Bucky collapsed onto the couch with a loud sigh, he wasn’t sure what he was meant to do now. The fight was over, the stones returned to their original times. HYDRA’s conditioning was finally out of his head. He could finally start living the life he had always wanted to after the war, but Bucky couldn’t push away the feeling that something important was missing. Deciding that it would better to go to bed and tomorrow he would decide what the hell he meant to do now. Bucky stood from the couch and his foot brushed against a book on the floor. He looked down to see a sketchbook poking out from underneath the coffee table.

“Did someone leave it here?” Bucky wondered as he flipped through the pages most of the drawings were of Bucky through different stages of his life, some of Peggy or the other Avengers. There was one drawing that Bucky didn’t recognise, it was of a skinny boy who had blonde hair and blue eyes. A part of Bucky felt that he knew the boy, but he wasn’t sure from where he knew him. Bucky put the sketchbook onto the coffee table before sending a text message to all the avengers asking whether they had lost a sketchbook, but each member said they hadn’t, or they didn’t draw.

Feeling a little puzzled towards who the sketchbook might belong to Bucky headed to bed and decided it was an issue for tomorrow.

_“You are a punk, why did you think it was a good idea to take on Jason. He is twice the size of you and knows how to fight. If I hadn’t stepped in he could have killed you” Bucky complained as he tended to the small blonde-haired boys injures._

_“I’m sorry Buck but he was feeling up this waitress and she asked him to stop. I had to do something” the boy answered. Bucky sighed._

_“You are an idiot Stevie, someone else could have stepped in who could have handled Jason” Bucky said, Steve rolled his eyes but before Bucky could continue another voice spoke._

_“Steve Rogers who the hell did you get into a fight with now?” a familiar female voice shouted from another part of the house._

Bucky shot up in bed sweating. The face of the blonde-haired boy was burnt into his mind. The same boy from the sketchbook. Why would he dream of him? Bucky was positive that he didn’t know him. This Stevie but he could feel his own doubt as well. Did he know this Stevie? Was it a memory he had yet to regain? Questioned filled Bucky’s mind.

“Who the hell is Steve Rogers?” Bucky questioned just as he saw a light glow come from the living room, Bucky climbed out of bed and headed to investigate. Bucky watched as a glow which was surrounding the sketchbook dissipated revealing the words ‘Property of Steven Grant Rogers’ written on the cover in scruffy writing. Bucky picked up the sketchbook and lightly traced the name with his metal finger. Bucky knew he needed to find this Steve Rogers and he knew who could help him.

* * *

Bucky hammered on Sam’s front door the following day, once he had gone back to bed he had more dreams about this Steve person but this time instead of being skinny he was bigger and taller apparently due to an experiment by a German scientist.

“It’s 6 in the morning” Sam complained when he opened his front door to greet Bucky still in his pyjamas.

“It’s not like you weren’t up” Bucky answered as he pushed past Sam to get inside.

“So” Sam muttered before closing his front door and turned to face Barnes when he noticed the sketchbook in his arms.

“Taking up a new hobby” Sam asked pointing at the sketchbook before heading to the kitchen to get himself a drink. He felt like he was going to need one to deal with Barnes this early in the morning.

“It’s not mine. I found it yesterday in my apartment under the coffee table. I know it’s not mine because I can’t draw for shit and these drawing are really good” Bucky answered as he handed the sketchbook over to Sam. Sam quickly flipped through it. He had to agree with Bucky’s statement, they were expectantly good.

“So, you want to find out who it belongs to and how it got into your apartment?” Sam asked.

“I know who it belongs to it more the finding them…” Bucky started before trailing off. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to explain his dreams and the connection towards the sketchbook’s owner Steve Rogers.

“What’s up?” Sam asked when he saw Bucky’s troubled look.

“I had a dream last night… it was to do with my past before the war and becoming the winter soldier. I was arguing with this blonde-haired boy who was injured apparently he got into a fight with another person and I had to pull him out of it… the only problem was I never saw this boy before until I looked at the last picture in the sketchbook” Bucky started explained before taking the sketchbook back off Sam and turned the pages over to the Skinny Steve drawing.

“And this is an issue because?” Sam questioned confused at what Bucky was trying to talk about.

“When I woke up I said who is Steve because I was confused and then there was this glow coming from the living room and the name appeared on the sketchbook. After that I went back to sleep, and I dreamt about the same Steve but this time he was bigger and taller… you don’t believe me” Bucky stopped talking when he saw the look on Sam face.

“I can see why you have found this weird, but I think it’s just stress” Sam said.

“Stress. What is suddenly dreaming about a person I don’t know yet feel like I do, to do with stress?” Bucky asked confused.

“You have been through a lot lately with HYDRA, being brainwashed, breaking free from the brainwashing, then dying to be brought back to life. Your brain is obviously trying to find a way to cope so you are dreaming about your past before everything happened” Sam tried to explain.

“Thanks for believing me Sam” Bucky said sarcastically before turning and walking away.

“Bucky” Sam shouted after him.

“If you are not going to believe me then I’m going to find someone who will” Bucky replied slamming the front door behind him. Bucky got back on his motorcycle and headed toward Tony’s house. He hoped after everything Tony had experienced as his time as Iron Man he would have an idea towards why Bucky has suddenly started to experience this. Unfortunately, Tony gave Bucky the same excuse as Sam, he had been through too much. His brain was coping with it.

The more he talks about Steve the more he believes that he was a real person and for some reason only Bucky can remember him. Bucky didn’t know who else he could turn to with this issue well technically there was one person, but Bucky had never personally known him or where he was currently living. Sighing Bucky pulled his phone from his pocket and called Scott Lang’s number.

“Hey Sergeant Barnes, what can I help you with?” Scott asked when he answered the phone.

“Do you have the address for Hank Pym, I need his help” Bucky asked walked back to his motorcycle.

“Yeah, why do you need it?” Scott asked.

“I have been having these dreams about someone I feel like I have forgotten about, I hoped Hank would have any ideas about it since he knows about the weird and unknown” Bucky answered as honestly as he could without giving to much away. He didn’t need more people believing he was losing it.

“Yeah sure, I’ll text you the address. Hope you can figure this all out” Scott said before hanging up. Bucky felt his phone vibrate not long after indicating Scott had texted him the address. Bucky climbed onto his motorcycle and headed in the direction of Hank’s house.

* * *

Bucky wasn’t surprised when Hank opened the front door before he had gotten off his bike.

“Scott let you know I was coming?” Bucky asked even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer already.

“Said something about you have strange dreams” Hank answered.

“Yeah, I know we don’t really know each other but both Tony and Sam have dismissed this as stress, but I just know it something else” Bucky lightly explained.

“Come inside, you can explain in greater detail” Hank said before moving back inside his house. Bucky felt relieved that Hank had just instantly dismissed him as crazy. Bucky followed after Hank and sat down on the couch whilst Hank sat opposite him and motioned to him to start his story.

“When the stones were returned to their timelines, there was this bright light which brought Tony, Nat, Vision and the Asgardians back to life. After that I went to my apartment. It when I started noticing that something wasn’t quite right, but I dismissed as a long day but… I found this sketchbook which was full of pictures from different moments from my life, along with drawings of Peggy Carter and the other avengers. I can’t draw so I knew it wasn’t mine and no one claimed it when I asked the others. The problem is I remember someone who no one else does and the more I think about him the more of his life I remember. I know he was a real person that Tony and Sam spoke with, yet they have no idea who he is. The biggest clue I only realised recently is I never bought the apartment I’m living in, yet it is mine. I know it sounds crazy but when I went to sleep I dreamt of this man and I know he was a big part of my life, but he is nowhere to be found” Bucky tried to explain. When Hank didn’t instantly reply he half expected for Hank to throw him out calling him crazy like the others had done.

“I don’t think you are crazy Barnes” Hank said. Bucky’s head snapped up in shock.

“I think this person you are explaining did exist. I think that light you were talking about that brought everyone who was dead back was probably this person. This person was a large part of your life if he was appearing in memories from before the war and then after the winter soldier life. I think this person was erased from time and you are the only person who remembers him because it would be difficult to erase a person completely. The sketchbook and the apartment would be two main examples of that” Hank explained.

“If that is true then how am I meant to get him back?” Bucky asked.

“Simple. You feel like you are remembering him more the longer you think about him. You just need to convince others he is real, if they believe it might bring him back or give you some understanding why he was erased in the first place” Hank said.

“Okay, I’ll try. Thank you so much Hank. Thank you for believing me” Bucky said before shaking Hank’s hand. Bucky pulled his phone from his pocket as soon as he left Hank’s house. He quickly sent a text to Sam and Stark before heading back to the apartment. Bucky was filled with new found determination. He was going to prove to Sam and Stark that Steve was real.

_Barnes: Stark! Wilson! Get to my apartment immediately! I have to talk to you it’s important._

* * *

“You called us here urgently, so you better hurry up and explain because my daughter is expecting me to read her a bedtime story when I get back and I would rather not get on the bad side of her. She’s a stark so anything is possible” Tony said collapsing beside Sam on one of the couches.

“Okay, who’s apartment is this?” Bucky asked instantly confusing Sam and Stark.

“Yours” Sam answered but Bucky shook his head.

“If my memories are correct then I was living on a farm in Wakanda after having the conditioning removed. I don’t remember purchasing this apartment or ever setting foot in it until yesterday, yet my name is on the lessee” Bucky explained.

“Barnes you have been through a lot recently, could you simple have forgotten you bought this” Tony sighed frustrated.

“When would I have time to buy an apartment? I was on the run ever since HYDRA was revealed to exist from that I went from trying to remember who I was to running from Stark and the government to being cryofrozen to get the conditioning out my head. I couldn’t have time to purchase an apartment. So, who’s is it?” Bucky explained, this made both Sam and Stark freeze for a moment.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s is it then?” Tony questioned.

“Steve’s” Bucky answered.

“Bucky you have to realise that Steve is a figment of your imagination. He is not real” Sam said trying to break whatever idea that Bucky had about Steve being a real person.

“No listen Sam. I know it sounds weird, but Steve Rogers was a real person. I spoke with Hank about it and he said that there was a possibility that Steve was erased from our timeline and somehow, I was able to remember him because not everything about an individual can be removed. The sketchbook and this apartment are two main examples… no don’t roll your eyes at me Stark. Listen. Steve Rogers was born on July 4, 1918 to Sarah and Joseph Rogers. I met him when we were children and were inseparable ever since. He had basically every single illness he could. He was skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes. He would fight everyone who he disagreed with even though he would always end up losing the fight or I had to step in to save his ass. When World War 2 broke out he tried his hardest to enlist but was turned down each time until a German scientist called Erskine took interest in him. He was a part of Project Rebirth where he became a super soldier and later Captain America. He saved hundreds of POW from HYDRA including me. He was the leader of the Howling Commandos. He went into the ice in the Valkyrie to save the world after he defeated the Red Skull. He woke up in 2012 when he later helped to stop the attack from Loki. There is so much more on his life I could tell you about. If Steve didn’t exist like you keep insisting, then why do I know so much about his life which if my brain had come up with him shouldn’t be possible, well, not with this amount of detail. Sam, Tony. Steve was real and for some reason he was erased from the time line” Bucky explained. He was desperate for Sam and Tony to understand what he was experiencing.

Sam and Tony were silent trying to process everything Bucky had told them. Relief flooded Bucky’s system when Sam and Tony didn’t fight Bucky’s explanation. They looked like they were remembering something themselves. Neither Bucky, Tony or Sam noticed the familiar bright light appearing behind Bucky until a familiar voice spoke.

“Well I wasn’t expecting this”.


	3. Epilogue

Bucky, Tony and Sam’s heads snapped towards the voice.

“Steve, how did we forget Steve?” Sam muttered under his breath but loud enough for Bucky and Tony to hear. Bucky couldn’t lie that the satisfaction to prove that they were wrong, and he was right was an amazing feeling, but he couldn’t process that yet. Steve was in front of him. His Stevie. All the memories were rushing back, the fight, Steve freely admitting that he was going to erase himself to fix his mistakes. Bucky felt immense guilt because of what he had said to Steve just before he disappeared.

“I think a better question is how did he get so small?” Tony questioned. And he was right. The Steve in front of him was identical to Steve before he received the serum but this Steve look extremely healthy. Steve looked directly at Bucky, he couldn’t lie that he was shocked that Bucky’s determination and will had be strong enough to undo the erase. Bucky slowly stood up, his eyes were welling up with tears. The Stevie he fell in love with was back.  

“Buck” Steve started but trailed off when Bucky rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around Steve’s smaller frame, the hug took Steve off guard for a second before he returned the hug.

“So, are you going to explain what happened?” Tony asked… more demanded. Steve understood their frustration, he had watched as Bucky tried his hardest to convince Tony and Sam of Steve’s existence. What made it worse was to discover that Bucky was right, and Steve had locked away their memories of him. Steve took Bucky’s hand in his and pulled him towards the couch.

“I’m not human. To be honest I’m not sure what the hell I am. I existed before the start of the universe. Not that there much then anyway. It was like that for a thousand years until the big bang happened and the infinity stones were created. I lived by observing and never interfering only when needed to” Steve started explaining before Tony interrupted him.

“So, you are basically God?”. Steve laughed.

“I would be a very bad God, so I don’t recommend you start worshiping me. People imagine God as an all knowing and all seeing individual, yes I might observe but I am not all knowing, and I don’t see everything. I’m just old individual who has no idea why they were created or why I still exist. Anyway, I got bored I mean I have lived for millennia I wanted to experience something different. I turned myself human, an exact replicate of who I was expect I was a different species. I kept who I was a secret from myself. I truly believed I was human” Steve continued.

“If you potentially designed who you became why were you so ill?” Bucky asked.

“Because I knew nothing about humans. I wanted to learn more, but I knew nothing. My immune system wasn’t that great which is why I got every illness imaginable” Steve answered.

“You said you hid your own memories from yourself when you became human. How did you remember?” Sam questioned. Steve sighed this was the part he wasn’t looking forward to explain.

“When I return to the normal timeline looking like an old man was because human me noticed something. Peggy was ageing at a normal human rate, I wasn’t. Even as a human I kept my immortality which stopped me ageing whether that was intentional or not I’m not sure. I had to force my human form to age to prevent her getting suspicious. It’s why we never had children not because Peggy or I didn’t want them it was because I had a nagging feeling that I couldn’t pass something on which is true I would never condemn anyone to the life I have lived. I would always say that I was scared to pass on my genes from before the serum. I lied saying that children wouldn’t inherit my super soldier genes but the sickly genes and by the time she thought she had a breakthrough with me it was to late. It wasn’t until I returned after Thanos had been defeated my memories of who I was returned and by then it was too late to change anything. It is why I have ditched my super soldier body and returned to how I looked before. Kind of like a sign. Everything bad which has happened has been a result of the super soldier serum without that I can finally live and focus on the good in my life” Steve finished explaining. They sat in silence before anyone was brave enough to speak up and ask the question which was on everyone’s mind.

“Do you regret loving Peggy and living your life with her?” Tony reluctantly asked when he noticed the others wasn’t going to.

“Yes”.

“Why” Sam asked this time.

“I gained feeling for Peggy because she reminded me so much of someone I already loved. She was a substitute of sorts. I couldn’t see past the belief that I was in love with her to truly realise that I was using my ideas as a scapegoat to hide who I really loved… you Bucky” Steve truthfully answered. In the last few days Steve had been able to reflect on his life and the only constant and concrete thing was his love for James Buchanan Barnes.

“We leave you two to talk, Steve we are glad you are back. No matter whether you are human or not” Sam said whilst he stood up and pulled Tony up with him.

“Yeah what bird brain said. I never got to say but thanks for bring me back. I appreciate that I’m going to get to see Morgan grow up” Tony said turning to face Steve, Tony knew it was going to take a while before any of them would be used to seeing Steve in his normal form, but it was better then living a life without him.

“You’re welcome Tony. You deserved it after willingly using the stones to defeat Thanos and his army. It should have been me, even though I never remember who I was I would have been able to wield the power of the infinity stones” Steve replied giving Tony a weak smile. The former iron man nodded before leaving the apartment with Sam following.

“Stevie, I want to apologies for what I said to you. I said it out of anger and I hated that I was the cause of you erasing yourself from our lives” Bucky apologies the second they were alone.

“I don’t blame you Bucky. It was my fault, when I decided to become human I never thought of the consequences to my actions. My human form was identical to me now and I know I’m trouble as it is. I probably was worse considering I was always sickly and the only thing I was living for was you” Steve answered, he never wanted Bucky to suffer because of his ridiculous human actions and he hoped that Bucky would forgive him from living with Peggy and keeping who he truly was a secret even through Steve himself at the time wasn’t aware.

“I forgive you Stevie, god these last two days have been hell and I had no idea why. I had no idea what I thrown away. I hope you can forgive me for what I did” Bucky muttered tears were falling from his eyes. Steve reached up and gently wiped away the tears.

“You never have to ask for my forgiveness Bucky, you will always have it” Steve whispered before pressing a light kiss to Bucky’s temple.

“I love you Stevie” Bucky choked out which made Steve smile.

“I love you to Buck. I always have, and I always will. I’m with you till the end of the line” Steve said. He promised to look after Bucky. To be by his side forever. This is who he was now. His purpose.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I hope you have enjoyed this short story. I apologies for how rushed it might have seemed but I really wanted to finish it as soon as because I had so many ideas streaming into my head. It's completely up to you how Bucky and Steve's relationship is going to be in the future. Thank you so much for taking your time and reading this story. 


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